Dating is just brutal! First you have the clingers, you know, the ones who after one or two dates seem ready to move in and make themselves at home. Then you have the users, the ones who want to hike up your skirt then hike to the next pretty face. You also have the serials, who move from one long term relationship to the next in seconds but have no real interest in you as a unique individual. Add to these types the guys who want arm candy, someone younger/older to fulfill some fantasy, a mother for their kids, a mother for themselves, it’s 2 am, I’m loaded and nobody will take me home calls, irrational calls and messages when you catch a flu and don’t talk for a day or two, silly mind games designed to make you jealous and thus more interested (wtf is up with that anyhow?), etc. etc, on and on. Somewhere in that giant mess we are “suppose” to find “THE ONE”. I could care less if I ever find “THE ONE” as long as I sometimes find “FOR NOW”, being alone is tiring after a while. Now don’t get me wrong, I want to find someone who makes me eternally blissful and I want to get all cozy in a little cottage complete with a picket fence but I’m certainly not going to stop living my life until he shows up and I sure as hell won’t be sitting at home waiting for him to drop on my doorstep. So I guess I’m stuck dating lol. Mostly if I date it is because I need to get out of the house and adult company is nice, male adult company is even better so instead of always doing coffee with the girls I occasionally seek out a male for a “date”. After this weekend I might have to rethink that strategy. Let me explain.
The “wife” and I were at the local Service Alberta office looking for info on small business start up when two guys walked in. One of them looked to be pretty much what she is after so I pointed him out. The two of them gave us quite the once over and kept looking back so I pulled a silly and waved, tee hee. They ended up waiting outside for us and gave us their respective numbers but the guy I had pegged for her was into me. Not that it mattered, it was a bit exciting to have someone go out of their way to meet us and we decided to ask them to grab a drink that night. Well only one of the two, the one who was interested in me, showed up for that drink. The night went reasonably well despite him arriving two HOURS late. He has a very nice truck, won’t bore you with details but think pricey and BIG, and of course I gushed over it before we left.
Then comes the next day, where the real fun begins. Buddy who didn’t show at the pub tells The Wife that he had two pals there to check us out beforehand and I was in a rather silly mood, being chatty and a bit flirty with these two specific guys so now buddy who was into The Wife is calling me trash and saying I am a slut. Uh? Pardon? Then his pal, the one who did show up, says something to the effect of “I could have taken her home in a second had I wanted to.” Whoa! Hang on there Sir Douche! Let me let you in on a little secret, if I wanted it I would have gotten it so don’t go flattering yourself. Takes more than one drink and a nice vehicle to hang the welcome sign. I had jokingly, very obviously jokingly, said I would wash his truck with my nekkidness, then seriously offered to wash it clothed. C’mon I’m not that freaky, geez. It seems they took me literally and got huffy that I wasn’t doing a nekkid truck dance for them, ok then. The Wife told them I was going to see a band play that night and wouldn’t be washing anything but myself before I left the house but it seems they were offended by that, or some such nonsense. Whatever. Then buddy who was into me/thought he could get into me, tells The Wife that he had a heart attack due to excessive steroid use a few years ago and was sad he was so small now. This man is far from small so I can only guess how badly he abused his body in the past and well, I’m slutty to the point of a man needing to have proper male parts. So I can safely throw him out of the running based on the steroid use and huge truck alone, yup, I’m shallow in the manly bits department. What really gets me here is the fact that they BOTH immediately considered me an easy, slutty, done deal based on me being mildly flirtatious in a bar with people who were playing pool spitting distance away from me. Really now? Come on, lol.
I think The Wife put it well when she said “If you wanted to you would have just left with him.” Exactly dear friend, exactly. I guess my spidey senses went all tingle happy about the huge ass truck issue. Thankfully my shallow need for something bigger than a toothpick saved the day partially but let’s be honest here. He’s 39! as.if. I had plans to see an amazing band with a GORGEOUS singer, knowing full well he thought I was at least passable in the looks dept. Why would I trade a shot at 26, hot, sexy, talented, smart, funny etc. for 39, used up, medically unsound, shrunk down to nothing? Hahahaha, no thanks, I think I made the right choice.