Diary of an Abandoned Abandoner.

When adoptees surrender.

I’m Legit, or at least I will be once I find my son. February 19, 2010

Filed under: adoption — abandonedabandoner @ 9:47 am

I was told about a little known Alberta Advantage recently and I don’t mean the massive amount of oil lingering in our soil. A handful of Albertan adoptees have enacted Private Member Bills to have their adoptions terminated. This overjoys me! I want nothing more than to have my original identity reinstated.I have run into one roadblock and it’s a big one, my son. If I try to have my adoption terminated before reunion I run the risk of making it very hard for him to search for me. I don’t think I can do that so I’ve decided to wait until he is 18 at least but I still want to share why I want this and how it came to cross my mind at all.

In December Addie, who writes theΒ  blog According To Addie, wrote a post titled Birth Certificate, Death Certificate, Whatever that got me thinking. When I die I will die as a different person than who I was born as. That bothers me, a LOT. Should any of my descendents want to research their family history they will go woefully off track once they hit me. Not only am I adopted but my adoptive Grandfather was adopted as well. I hate that, the fact that my identity is essentially a fictional one with no genetic fact in it at all. I want my identity to reflect fact not the fairy tale fantasy that it currently is. It has nothing to do with wanting to negate the family who raised me I just want my legal documents to reflect the truth. For once in my life I want to legally be the person I was born as, complete with documentation stating that fact. The kicker is that as an adoptee having things as I want them will, undoubtedly, cause pain to some of the people in my life. Ahh adoption, making things difficult for me since 1977.

I have been thinking about this since I read Addie’s post but it was a pipe dream, something I wanted without thinking it was obtainable in the least, until Cedar told me about the few Albertan Adoptees who have successfully enacted Private Members Bills to terminate their own adoptions. Whoa! What? WOW! I’m still in the process of researching the finer points of Private Member Bills and working on the wording etc. but I think this has a good chance of working. Even if it means waiting until Jay-Boo is 18 or 19 I think it will be worth it, after all this isn’t something that will affect me immediately anyhow. I am who I am regardless of what my birth certificate says, I know who I am. I am my mother and father’s daughter, born to them but raised by another mother and father. I have four real parents, seven if you count the steps. Without any of them I would not be who I am today and I kinda like who I am but I would like it better if my legal identity was one founded on truths instead of fictions. The “as if born to” part of adoption is a myth. I do not, and never have, lived as if born to my adoptive parents, I have always lived as the person who was born to one set of parents and raised by another. That is my truth and hopefully one day that truth will be reflected on the legal documents bearing my name, a name I will choose since Baby Girl would look awful silly on an adult’s ID or passport πŸ˜‰

To end this post I’d like to share the video for the song I’m Legit by Zara Phillips and DMC. Opening adoption records is what has truly paved the way for me to find out who I am. I may have known my natural parents long before I got my original birth certificate but holding that paper in my own hands gave me the awareness to move forward with who I am. It was truly liberating to know my history! OK… I want to share this with you for another reason too lol, pay attention at 4:19 πŸ˜›


2 Responses to “I’m Legit, or at least I will be once I find my son.”

  1. Lori Says:

    Finally – finally a real statement made by a real person! That is so frakken true! OMG – FINALLY

  2. Cedar Says:

    Hi Andy! πŸ™‚ I think you can get your adoption terminated without changing your name, so if he searches for your name as it’s on his birth record, he should be able to find it.

    Of course, the first place he’s going to look is Facebook, anyway. πŸ™‚

    And, when he turns whatever age, you can get his amended birth record as long as he hasn’t filed a veto, and then search for him.

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