Diary of an Abandoned Abandoner.

When adoptees surrender.

Missing you. December 3, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — abandonedabandoner @ 11:45 pm

I was about to be very passive aggressive and angry. I decided against it. Instead I’ll be all sappy and melodramatic.

There are so many ways to miss someone.

You can miss them in an almost joyful way, when you know they will be back and that you are as important to them as they are to you.

You can miss them in a final way, when they die and you have grieved the loss.

You can miss them in a panicked way, when you have lost them and aren’t sure if you will see them again.

You can miss them in a regretful way, when you know the parting was forever but wish it could have been different.

And you can miss them in a sorrowful way, when you don’t know why they left or if they are coming back.

Tonight I miss someone in each of these ways. Tonight is being difficult, like a kid who won’t leave the zoo. It is making me wish it would just go away and give me some peace but we all know that tonight turns into tomorrow and the issues we face are there to stay until we deal with them.

I need to deal with something. I’m afraid that if I do I will be missing someone in a regretful way instead of a sorrowful one.


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